Rental car from hell and other crazy firsts

So yesterday my beloved car wanted to explode...yes it did but sure glad it didn't! I had the pleasure of renting my first rental car actually more like two different rental cars, but who is counting. Yes, I have never had to rent a car because I had problems with mine. There is always a first with me. I have also never had the pleasure of reporting a claim to my insurance company. I have nothing bad to say about my insurance company they made things relatively painless and I had a good laugh. I will never complain the next time I have to pay a AAA bill, count my words never! Not a first however was having to tell the lady on the other end of the phone that I am indeed old enough to rent a car. She was under the impression that I was in my late teens or early twenties, wow do I sound that young. It's not like she didn't have all my important information right in front of her in black and white. Well they turned my car trouble into no-fault trouble and sent me to rent a car from their company. What, I have to turn in a perfectly good be it ugliest blue Camry for whatever this other company could/would give me. Well I ended up with yet another problem car, it smells bad on the inside and out plus the cigarette light does not work. How do people charge phones in cars that don't have working cigarette lighters? This company WILL be taking this car back and giving me something else, I refuse to drive a stinky car that has broken features. Plus who wants to drive a car when you have been driving an SUV for years?! Come on, I have to sit that low in a car, have lights always in my eyes and feel like at any point someone is going to plow right into the thing. I did remember what it is like to drive a car that hugs the road, that goes faster (only a little) and can be whipped in and out of tight spaces. Oh well the negatives outweigh the positive and that's the reason I will never have a small car again...dangerous.